I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
Randomize
