on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
Randomize
