I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
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