i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
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