Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize
