He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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