Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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