I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
Come share oat with me in your robe
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
