i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
