This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
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