Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
Randomize
