I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
Who wears a wallet chain?!
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
I stole a fireplace last night.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
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