Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
