The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Randomize