this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
Randomize
