someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
I need to align my fucking chakras
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