If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
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