oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
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