Sometimes, when I'm driving alone I talk to myself in a Russian accent so I think it's my mommy and it calms me down.
can u get pink eye on your cock?
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize