Will you blow on my dice?
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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