And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
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