we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
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