STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
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