just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
Randomize
