That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
Randomize
