Me. At least after what I've been through.
Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
Randomize
