Farmville is her only friend.
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
She has the best kind of daddy issues
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
Randomize
