I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
We talked him into tasing himself.
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
Randomize
