He kissed a someone with a penis
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
this must be what syphilis tastes like
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
I currently don't understand fingers.
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
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