So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
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