We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Randomize