you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
Randomize
