these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
