Where did you get a picture of my penis
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
Randomize
