I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
Randomize
