I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
Randomize