i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
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