Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
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