i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
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