Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
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