I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
Randomize
