No awkward lesbian experiences without me
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Randomize
