The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
Randomize
