I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
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