just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
Randomize
