I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
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