i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
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