She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
Randomize
