Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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