I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
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