I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
