i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Randomize
