so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
Randomize
