I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize
