Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
Sext me about skeletons
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