I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
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