So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
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