Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
I'm sitting next to this guy at the bar. I wrote him a little song in my head it goes "there is no fucking chance you're getting in my pants" gonna sing it to him after he buys me another drink.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
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