somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
Randomize