wat bout pragnant strippers??
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
Randomize
