To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
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