So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
Randomize
