Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
Randomize
