Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
Randomize
