he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
You are a booty call, not a friend.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
Randomize
