I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
Randomize
