Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
I wear drunk well.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
Randomize