Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
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