yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
Randomize
