i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
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