also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Randomize
